The Serial Spanker

Last night my buddy Adam found a stack of “spanking magazines” on a sidewalk in Santa Monica. I wasn’t aware that there were “spanking magazines”, much less a spanking community, but it’s now evident to me that there’s at least one huge collection of this spanking shit, and it’s now in Adam’s possession.  

Apparently after 15 years, some poor soul had come to a bitter end with his/her spanking fetish and had decided that they would leave their legacy of spanking in a brown paper bag for some lucky soul to carry on. That soul was Adam, and we’re hoping his new girlfriend likes to be spanked. Adam now has the tools at his disposure to be a pro.

The magazines (37 in total) range from the vintage Serial Spanker series to several issues of Strictly Speaking Spanking (#27 pictured) to Paul Davie’s Wild World Of Spanking. The collection includes illustrated spanking, photographed spanking, editorials about spanking, spanking interviews, spanking personals, spanking fiction, non fiction, and a host of other spanking shit. Most of the issues are from the Serial Spanker series, in which the “Serial Spanker” hides out in alleys waiting for unsuspecting young women who are begging for a serious spanking. 

Here’s a gem from Davie’s WIld World of Spanking. I’m sure of two things about the following illustration. 1. This guy wears Old Spice. 2. He’s damn good at spanking.

This man’s arm could double as a fraternity paddle. Maybe a sorority paddle. It’s some kind of paddle. It’s a hand that’s done a lot spanking, for a very long time.  Judging by his clothing choice, body hair and lamp, I’d say he lives near the beach and vacations in the rockies. Spanks a lot of junior lifeguards and ski bunnies. Probably drinks Canadian Club Whiskey.  Picked up the girl when he picked up the lamp. Maybe at a lamp store in Manhattan Beach. The illustration was white and black but I took the liberty of coloring it in photoshop. The man looks strikingly similar to my buddy Jon, who recently got married to a beautiful blond from Sweden. So I colored it their honor.

Then there’s this…

What the fuck is this? Yeah, I know. I’m pretty sure this is the most insane photograph involving BK Night kicks that’s ever been taken. If in a thousand years we are all dead, and some alien life form comes back to El Segundo and finds this picture, I’m pretty sure they will think that this was a culture based in some serious spanking and some badass shoe technology. If you’re gonna get spanked by an old british schoolteacher with a wooden cane, you better be rockin the BK knights. Nice ass. Teacher could use some dental work. Set dresser was evidently a rockstar.

Tags: Adam, beard, british, california, fetish, illustration, insane, knight, lamp, old spice, serial, spanking