My friend B.

Throughout my life I can count on a single hand the people who I envy. Charles Bukowski is one of them. Another is my friend B. I met B in advertising when I was working in San Francisco. We stay in touch mostly via email these days. Here’s two I recently received.

FROM: B

I´m in Panama, on my way back to the states. Got myself a business class seat home 4 days early. I´ll have to explain over the phone but long story short, KC and I had a rough time in the jungle with the medicine man. Like violent, dark, and evil. And I´m talking beyond a bad trip. Spirits and dark forces and energies were involved and we both felt it. The shaman had to come the next day to scrub my body down with lemon and blow special smoke around me to ward off the spirits that were hovering around me all night. he says he had to fight them off really hard. he said the Ayahuasca liked me and took its hold strong. I couldn´t move from one spot on the floor of a wood hut for two days and for two days after could only walk with someone holding me or I´d fall over. They´d just come in and force feed me water and small pieces of fruit every hour.

 

Then I found out that even the Shaman said he mixed the juice too strong because he was drinking it during the ceremony and said it fucked him up too, which rarely happens. When KC was better, the Shaman showed him where in the jungle he made it, he said this bunch he sent himself away from the village and fasted while making it for two days. Was some serious shit. I had the most evil visions on earth and I´m honestly convinced that plenty of them weren´t just hallucinations. I honestly had to call on my faith to fight off some major demons.

 

The only positive that came of it is that I had lost my wallet and during the second day when I went back into a zone I had a vision of exactly where it was. As soon as I was conscious and able to move I went there and it was there. The shaman said when you ¨learn the ayuhuasca better´it can show you visions of what plants contain what medicinal properties and that´s how medicine men get their other cures. They also do use it to find lost things or people. Too bad I wasn´t aware of that, I would have at least thought on Erika…

 

I don´t ever want to learn the ayuhuasca. I don´t see myself ever doing anything like that again. I honestly fought myself away from death that first night. Thank goodness for the krav Maga! Man but seriously, if I would have given in, that anaconda would have taken me somewhere bad, maybe even violent.

 

On another note, did spend a few days looking for Erika and no luck. i was disappointed but I think that with all that went down it simply wasn´t meant to be, and I hope she´s well and wish her the best but I´m fairly content with that, for now.

 

not sure if that´s the vintage story you were looking for but it helped to write it out a bit. KC wasn´t as taken by it as i was, which is relative,  but he even said it was the darkest place he´s ever been and kilimanjaro was nothing compared to it, physically or emotionally.

 

Remind me to tell you about the woman in the speedboat, in which they had to build a bed for me just to get me out of the jungle because a mega storm was coming down river. We raced it for three hours with it literally on our tail like in a cartoon – or so they told me, as I was barely conscious. Little children had to carry me off the boat. Man, what movie did I just escape…

 

Anyway, I´ll call you guys soon. Can´t wait to talk in person and hear an update on your world.

 

Cucc, sounds great about the pad. Brett, go spill some Absinthe in it for me…

EMAIL #2 From B:

So, I was gonna tell you about my training, but I think i should tell you about my last weekend.      

Of course, I may well have set back my two weeks of training this weekend alone. Allow me to summarize: Friday night, after training, a young bloke from Manchester and I rode our motor bikes across the Island to Patong, had some drinks, met a man who claimed to be Dennis Hopper’s son, he was annoying but his friends ditched him for being too drunk (should have been the key warning) so we felt bad and invited him to the stadium with us to see some Muay Thai fights. Fights were hard core as fuck. Way more so than any I’ve seen in the states. Saw 2 ten year olds fight a serious battle ending with one getting KO’d. There is something so innocently desperate and frightening about seeing a ten year old get KO’d. Even the winning boy wasn’t 100% comfortable with the result. Some other really good adult fights. One guy from our gym won by pretty vicious elbow KO. Hopper Jr., challenged everyone in the stadium to a fight, including members of the Thai Mafia who, I believe, only didn’t kill him because they were confused by the level of his obnoxious ramblings. After the fight, we ditched hopper, went to see Nuch ( A Thai go-go dancer I’ve hung out with a few times ) who immediately called 3 of her go-go friends to come out, manchester boy disappeared with the one ugly girl in the club, go figure, and I partied the night away with Nuch and her 3 cute as fuck, way enthused, energizer bunny friends. Finally made it back to camp around 6pm on Saturday, hungover as hell, to find my neighbors on the front porch drinking, hazing me to grab a drink and yelling that we’re going to Patong for a Ping Pong show. I felt bad that I haven’t hung with them at all since I’ve been here, and I’m not one to pass on seeing a ping pong show, so… Round 2. Ping Pong Show: You put out your hand, nude girl squats over it and drops ping pong out of her pussy into your hand. Then a girl comes out with a fish bowl full of water, drops a fish from her pussy into fish bowl. Then a girl comes out, puts two cigarettes in her pussy, asks you to light them, she takes a few drags, blows smoke out her pussy. Then a girl comes out and, in short, pulls a string out of her pussy and keeps pulling until about 20-30 threaded, long, thick, sowing needles come out. From there it was basic partying, after hours clubs, then after-after hours club, until finally, me, on a platform at a club, dancing with a gorgeous Thai girl who has 6 fingers on her left hand (two thumbs). She ended up really digging me but I actually felt bad that Nuch, who I actually like, was home, sick and hungover in bed. So, I finally just headed home. Now I’ve been in bed sick for two days. Hoping that the pills “yes, for stomach pain” I got from the pharmacy (where you can buy everything from codein to steroids) get me well enough to train tomorrow. I actually prefer that pain to this.

two of my favorite conversations:      

Swedish girl: Why are you wearing socks in Thailand?
Me: Oh, I just took off my sneakers.
SG: Why are you wearing sneakers in Thailand?

Thai girl on beach: What you look for in girlfriend?
Me: Oh, ya know, just someone I can laugh with and stuff like that.
TG: Oh, you no like boom-boom?
Me: Well, I just figured that was a given.
TG: What?
Me: Yes, I like Boom-boom. Very much.
TG: Oh good.

Anyway, aside from this week, training has been very difficult but very good. Hoping I’ll be well enough to get back to it and back on track soon.

How are you? Let me know what’s going on there. Say hey to Brenda.

B

Tags: bowl, fish, mui tai, needle, ping pong, thailand, thread